'Desperate Housewives' Takes a Feminist Beating, & I Just Don't Understand Why

The folks complaining state that the show stereotypes women, literally casting them to be be thin, white & controlled by men. As if it's the only show offering skinny white women. Did the feminists attack 'Seinfeld,' or 'Everybody Loves Raymond' for this? No. Why not? Because none of those shows were focused on women's lives. They were all less pro-women than 'Desperate Housewives' by simple virtue of the fact that women were just supporting roles in stories focused on men's perceptions of life, scenery in a male point of view. I really can't get started on the images of women in the media -- but let's just leave it at fact that this issue is much bigger than 'Desperate Housewives.'

Is Gabrielle, the only non-white woman, pandering to the audience with her 'clichéd' role of a 'sexy, hot, gold digging Latina?' Hell, as if Latina's have the corner on that market. I think it's more insulting to Latinas to imply that Gabrielle 'had to be a Latina' than anything else. Gabrielle, played by the beautiful Eva Longoria, is just that beeeautyful! Is she a Latina? Sure. Ten years ago, would a Latina have gotten the role of a hot runway model, let alone the lead -- a wealthy lead? No. So her model character of Gabrielle is a gold digger. So what? That's a side of the character.

Oh, & while we are at it, the feminists dislike that all the families are 'wealthy.' Umm, like it's a neighborhood, therefore, the residents would tend to be one economic class. That they are wealthy is simply an excuse for great fashions & home decor (we Americans like to see pretty things), less limits on future storylines (poor people don't travel, the kids don't have cars - hell, the parents don't have cars) & let's not forget proper product placements.

Some even bash the show for it's set -- Wisteria Lane being set on the same Hollywood back lot where 'Leave It to Beaver' was filmed. As if Hollywood recycling sets is some sort of stamp of a patriarchal agenda instead of thrifty 'home' economics.

'Desperate Housewives' is a a look at women's lives, with men in the supporting roles, but let's face it, the plots are contrived -- the deaths are tools to drive the overall story, to keep it moving on more than the small details of life. It's today's 'Dynasty,' in a sense, if a bit less over-the-top. It's not a documentary, it's entertainment, people.

But what makes it good entertainment, what keeps me glued to the set, is the reality I see exposed in between the murders, the luxury cars & the Martha Stewart homes. And this is where most feminists get all excited...

Several feminists attack 'Desperate Housewives' for showing women as identified mainly by the men they married & the children they raise. Umm, hello, where do these feminists live?! Women are largely defined by these relationships & roles. What woman goes to the hubby's holiday party & isn't introduced over & over again as his wife? It's the framework for that group of his co-workers to place her by. (And if these women worked outside the home, their spouses would similarly suffer the same fate at the wives workplace events.)

What new mother hasn't had the rather rude awakening that they are no longer Merideth, or Mere, or M, but "Jason's Mother?" These are labels, identifying labels yes, but they are real. At least where I live. And if these identifiers seem to be more than surface things, they likely are. For if a woman chooses to stay home & raise her children, that is her work, & as valid & important as being able to identify herself as 'Feminist Reporter for The Beacon.' She has claimed the role of Mother with as much fierce determination as any journalist ever did claim their press pass. The same is true for any woman without children, who has committed her life to her family, her husband.

What feminist denouncers also miss is the fact that while these women made choices to be home, they struggle with this choice.

Through Lynette, we see a woman feeling at a loss for her lack of control. Once she ruled the boardroom & made huge money deals, but now she can barely control her own children, her own home. She feels further presssure & stress from her own expectations -- and those she perceives to be the expectations of 'all the other moms.' In the episode where Lynette faces her addition to ADD meds (to try to keep up & cope), she sits under a tree, and admits to feeling like a failure, a flawed mother. Bree & Susan quietly admit to the same failings & flaws. When Lynette says "Why don’t they tell us this stuff?" & "Why don’t we talk about this?" I sat with tears in my eyes. I'd been there. In that place where I'd never felt so alone. To see it there, on television, it was a powerful moment for me... And I know women everywhere watching were feeling the same. We all were whispering along with Lynette, "Why don’t we talk about this?"

If Lynette felt shame as a mother, Bree feels it as a wife. Her perfect world, created to prove her worth, her sense of control, is more than cracked -- it falls apart. The women who at times have felt their own cooking, homemaking & parenting skills suffer in comparison to Bree's, the women who may have envied her prefect marriage, they all rush to support Bree. All the women are forced to remove their blinders -- not only to Bree's marriage, her floundering, but to their own. That's what friends do. And that's what is so great about 'Desperate Housewives.'

As children, our dearest friends are those that live on the same street, the same block. When we graduate, many of those friendships are lost or become secondary to new friendships created at college or in the workplace. The characters on 'Desperate Housewives' form friendships based on proximity too. Women who might otherwise never have met become friends because they are all neighbors. As in the episode where Susan is accused by Edie of being one of those girls in high school who would never have talked to her, the women come from different places, dream of different things & even have different values. But they all have enough common ground, literally the ground their homes are built upon, to see each other not only 'through things,' but to see eachother for what & who they are, and still love them for it. That's what women do.

In some ways, are the characters on Wisteria Lane too stereotyped? Is Bree too Martha-Stewart-Conservative-Golf-Club-Society-Type (and therefore reinforcing 'Traditional Values & Wealth')? Is Susan too Doe-Eyed-Romantic meets Victimized-Klutz (that she shows women as dependent not self-sufficient)? Is Edie too Slut-Ready-To-Snake-Your-Man-And-Claw-Your-Eyes-Out (showing women as catty & competitive)? Sure. But they are characters, & like caricatures, they emphasize some traits as larger than they are. In the world of TV, the camera may add 10 pounds to your frame, but it also magnifies traits, making them larger than what they would appear to be in the real world.

Did feminists come out & attack Seinfeld's 'Elaine' saying that it conveyed that all single white women are prone to yelping 'Get, Out!' as they pushed others around? No. Why not? Because they understood Elaine was a character, with quirks, created & portrayed to entertain. Would a real Elaine push that often, and still have friends? Maybe not. But it's through this exaggerated view of Elaine that we find not only humorous entertainment, but we might also see something of ourselves, our friends, in there... The characters on 'Desperate Housewives' may play up certain characteristics, traits, situations & events -- but it is not to exploit all of woman kind. Expose some things about women's lives, yes, but not exploit women.

Sure, there are some sensational scenes. For example, we don't punch our spouses in the face for being willing to risk another pregnancy -- oh, we've thought of it, dreamed of it even, but we don't do it. That's a fantasy scene. Real women don't wrestle eachother in pools or mud as they did on 'Dynasty' either. But we've wrestled with the idea a time or too. And it makes for wonderful entertainment.

What I love about 'Desperate Housewives' it that it's a program that shows real feelings & relationships between women.

Even if the women themselves are fake, characters with scripts & not literally near my home; the set & props out-of-my-league; the actions sometimes more fantasy than reality; & the murders (knock wood) far removed from my reality; in 'Desperate Housewives' the relationship interactions & the emotions are real enough for me to see a mirror of my life.